Your link should be a three-liner that opens this poem. The above two lines will be the end of the poem. Basically what you need to add is a haiku that gives meaning to the final two lines.
Form to send in your answer to the above poem as a link.
Come back to see the entries submitted and see if you agree with the winner!
The current winning verse linked to:
may is at doorway
clouds are traveling as to
a wedding – in white
.................. Jasminka
IS
There were so many links that could have been borrowed to fit here that now that I have made my choice, I am wishing I had picked more. Yet, when I read them all over again, I still like this link the best. My reasons are many. By Andrew's use of "whither" (which at first threw me off of liking the link) he gives a nod of recognition to "wedding" by using an archaic word such as in the ceremony. Also, the idea of "following" relates to the idea of marriage's "wither thou goes, I will follow" concept. Yet when one reads the link, the strongest idea is of someone enjoying the beautiful May day by going on a hike which is the very opposite of going to a wedding. Too many entries got caught up in the wedding concept and continued that. Nothing wrong with that, but Andrew made the twist away by going for a hike and yet through his use of the language and the images, was able to make the subtle connection to marriage. It is good that the last two lines give the image "starting out" that echoes "doorway" from the first line. While many of the links offered various emotional states - sadness, allergies, aloneness, impending gloom, questions of whether marriage was the right thing, etc. - Andrew's link displays complete trust in what he is doing and where he is going. This calmness and total acceptance of whatever is going to be links the poem back to the clouds and nature being nature.
Winner was picked from these poems:
alone at the reception
Rose petal falling -
FIRST WIN OF 2001
pinned-back ears and wagging tail
peak over the garbage can
................................Kimi Rose
IS:
Scanning the wet streets
All senses at full alert
Hunting the next trick
..............................W. V. Kahler
Maybe a word of explanation why this link was picked as winner will clarify how linking works. As you see in the first link we have the images indicating a dog and a garbage can. W. V Kahler's link starts out ambiguous enough with the first two lines that could apply to the actions of a dog so the reader feels these lines are an elaboration of the scene. Then whap! in the very last word, Kahler changes the subject of the poem from a dog to a prostitute. By using the euphemism of "trick" for prostitute, the reader is, even in the moment of realizing that the subject has been switched, still able to make a slim connection to the dog due to our thinking of "dogs - tricks - trick dog". Beyond this and much deeper, is the social implication that such women are treated 'like dogs'. Also, I see the word "hunting" in the last line. This again associates the person with the dog. Because the first verse did not say "dog" but kept the image only by implication, Kahler continued this mood perfectly. Kahler also kept the scene the same (the alley) while skillfully moving the emphasis from a dog to a person. This link is absolutely genius. It is this shift that is so admired in renga writing and in doing the maekuzuki. Thanks for all the links!
May - June, 2000 Poem and Winner!
guilty secret
taking pleasure
alone in the kitchen
.................... manhole
Slicing, dicing wet celery
It squirts my naked hands.
...................Abs
March - April, 2000 Winner
Weave succulent tales of
pulpy oranges, bitten
and
dripped through parted lips.
.............................nanobody
hide and seek in the orchard
butterflies don't tell secrets
...............................jen
December, 1999 Maekuzuki:
if i could see myself on paper,
reflected in the
ink from someone else's pen,
could I be seduced? -
chizoba
Swirling black and white ink-drops
Mirror-like and
tempting
I could - so I crumple up the paper.
..............................ABS
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